NextPage to Move Further Underground

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April 1, 2014

NextPage, a longtime tenant in the Hunt Midwest Underground facility in Kansas City has made a strategic decision to move their facility further underground. Construction will begin next week on the firm’s new bunker that will be 1,000 feet below the parking lot in the current Hunt Midwest space.

NextPage employees will ride a special supersonic elevator down to the highly secure facility. It is widely known that NextPage works on a bunch of super top secret stuff so the move to the bunker is warranted.

The bunker will be state of the art with a full size recreation complex for the employees incuding a basketball court, Olympic size pool, racquetball courts (especially for CEO Gina Danner) and a go-kart track. In addition, the bunker will have a full service restaurant where the employees will eat for free. The health focused menu will be gluten-free, fat-free and generally taste-free.

When asked about moving the large equipment from the current space down to the bunker, NextPage management disclosed that they have invented a giant slide with a padded landing area and they plan to simply slide everything into place. The move should be complete by April 1st.

If you’d like to learn more about this bold move, please visit


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